"Interactive Poetry Assitance Program (LoveMaker v3.1)" joke

Welcome to the LoveMaker! (v3. 1 Erosoft Industries, (c) 1993)
At the prompt, please enter your response.
I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program.
What is your name?
%JOHN
What a nice name, JOHN. You must be a man.
%YES
How nice for you. Who is your poem for, JOHN?
%SHEILA
How nice for SHEILA. She must be a woman?
%YES
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN. Is she?
%YES
What is the occasion, JOHN?
%VALENTINE'S DAY
SHEILA is a very lucky woman. I will need information about SHEILA
for a poem that best reflects your deep feelings for her, JOHN.
What color are her eyes?
%BLUE
Thank you, JOHN. But could you be more specific? Are they blue like
the sky after a clearing storm? Are they the icy blue of the far flung
fjords, shrouded in mist and mystery? Are they the steely blue of Walter
Gropius's later Bauhaus sketchbooks? Are they a cornflower blue that
speaks of Sunday picnics in simpler times?
%THEY LOOK KIND OF GRAY WHEN SHE'S ANGRY
Thank you, JOHN. What about SHEILA'S hair?
%BLOND
Thank you, JOHN. But could you be more specific? Is it ash blond with
some auburn like the silky tresses of Rapunzel? When the sun hits it
in a certain way in the late afternoon does it look like spun gold? Is it
the hard, cheap blond of the streetwise trollop or the dazzling, brilliant
satin of Renaissance cherubim?
%I THINK SHE DYES IT
Thank you, JOHN. Are there any other characteristics we should mention in
our poem to SHEILA?
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%
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JOHN, are you still there?
%SKIN?
Thank you, JOHN. But could you be more specific? Is it fine and
alabaster and tightly grained like antique porcelain, slow-fired by
master craftsmen? Or is it pink and lustrous like the hand-burnished
silver one's Grandmother might be found polishing with gentle, loving
strokes on a rainy Sunday afternoon?
%SHE TANS TWICE A WEEK
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN. You must have deep feelings
for SHEILA to write her a special VALENTINE'S DAY poem.
%YES
How nice for you, JOHN. What kind of poem do you think SHEILA would
like?
%?
My MENU (Alt+M) offers the following styles. At the prompt, please
choose ONE:
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Couplet | Triplet | Quatrain | Eclogue | Pastoral | Sonnet | Elegy |
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Epic | Ballad | Lyric | Ode | Idyll | Haiku |? ?? |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
%?
That's O. K., JOHN. How do you see yourself? Please choose ONE:
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Laureate | Bard | Sonneteer | Troubadour | Meistersinger |
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Jongleur | Versifier | Rhapsodist | Lyricist | Other |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
%OTHER
Can you be more specific?
%I GUESS...
Perhaps if you briefly shared your innermost dreams and desires, JOHN?
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JOHN?
%I'M THINKING
May I make a suggestion, JOHN?
%SURE
Perhaps you imagine yourself a hopeless romantic, JOHN. A man who lives
and loves with passion and desire and appetite. A man who grabs great
platters from the groaning board of this world and eats his fill. A man
who takes what he wants the moment he sees it and makes it his own. A
man who kneads fate in his strong hands, shapes it and commands it. A man
with a reckless bent and the courage of fire. A man who sees beauty
in a raindrop and all the truth of the universe in the eyes of a child. A
man with needs and wants aflame within him. A man of power and means of
influence, JOHN. A man destined to be the envy of other men. A man
that few can ever understand and fewer still will have the guts to love.
A man of whom it might be said...
Would that Alexander in his age had but half the measure of his strong
stout heart or clear hawk's eyes undimmed and true, pooled with azure
purpose. No earthbound mortal he, but master o'er each and all...
Would this describe your self-image accurately, JOHN?
%YES
I thought so. I'll use my random SEARCH MODE (Alt+S) to choose an
appropriate style for you, JOHN. One that truly expresses your deep
feelings for SHEILA on VALENTINE'S DAY.
Please wait...
To print poem, please enter command Alt+P at prompt.
%Alt+P
Dear SHEILA,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your hair is blond
and your eyes are gray (when angry)
JOHN

Thank you for using LOVEMAKER v3. 1 from EROSOFT