Putt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident
golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it
safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and
proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that
he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under
estimate his game.So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had
asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled
about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for
one long putt..."

The golfer confidently eyed the next hole and remarked to his
caddy: "This should be good for a long drive and a putt." His swing, however, hit the sod and pushed the ball only a few feet. "Now," said the caddy, "for a hell of a putt."

An older couple were participating in an annual golf tournament. The championship had come down to a six inch putt that the wife had to make.
Nervously, she took her stance, putted and missed.
Her husband was furious with her. On the way home, he exclaimed, "I cannot believe you missed that putt! That put was no longer than my dick!"
"Yes, dear," she said, with a grin, "but much harder!"

A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200. As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt. One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects." "Well, we were married for 25 years!"

Bill and Ralph meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. Bill has a little dog with him and on the next green, when Bill holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs.
Ralph is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt?" Bill replies, "Somersaults."
Ralph exclaims, "Somersaults! How many of them does it do?" Bill calmly replies, "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself,' I'd give anything to sink this next putt.'

A stranger walks up to him and whispers,' Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?'

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says,' Okay,' and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself,' Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.'

The same stranger moves to his side and says,' Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?'

The golfer shrugs and says,' Sure.' He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.

Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says,' Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?'

The golfer says,' Certainly!' He makes the eagle.

As the golfer more...

Santa and Banta meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. Banta has a little dog with him and, on the next green when Banta out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs.
Santa is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says..., "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt??"
Banta:"Somersaults."
Santa: "Somersaults!!! How many of them does it do?"
Banta: "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"