Raju Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Accident

There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident.
At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.
"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"
"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries.
You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."
He asked for his family to be called in.
As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"
"I am here husband, and I will never leave you."
"Dilip, are you more...

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Allow Me

Teacher: Tomorrow There Will Be A Lecture On Sun. Everyone Must Attend It.
Raju: No Ma'm! I Will Not Be Able To Attend It.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My Mother Will Not Allow Me To Go So Far!!!

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Married Again

ONCE THERE WERE 2 FRIENDS RAJU AND RAMESH.
RAJU: RAMESH WHEN I CAME TO YOUR HOUSE, YOUR NAME PLATE READ RAMESH B. A. AND THIS YEAR IT IS RAMESH M. A. WHEN DID YOU COMPLETE YOUR MASTERS DEGREE MY FRIEND?
RAMESH: MY DEAR FRIEND RAJU LAST YEAR MY WIFE DIED SO MY NAME READ RAMESH B. A. THAT IS RAMESH BACHULAR AGAIN AND THIS YEAR I MARRIED AGAIN THAT IS RAMESH M. A. RAMESH MARRIED AGAIN.

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Your Wish

GRANDMA Was narrating the story of Dhruva to her grandson, Raju.' When God appeared before Dhruva, he asked him to make a wish which he would fulfil. Dhruva asked to be given a place from which no one could remove him. So God made him the Polar Star from where he continues to shine. Now what would you wish if God promised to give it to you?'
Pat came the reply from Raju.' I would ask God to let me be born in a State where there are no reservations.'

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3Rd Day

Raju was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip one day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'd have lost at least 5 kilos."
When Raju returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 10 kilos. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" Raju nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping!"

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