Ransom Jokes

I sometimes feel so bad about things that I wonder if I am sane. I see so many people acting so stupidly in the world, that what they do makes no sense. Maybe I'm the only sane person and everyone else is crazy! It seems like the world has gotten both stupider and nastier over the years, or at least the U.S. has.
It is the asinine stupidity - and plain arrogance - of people that makes me sick. The District of Columbia is damn near so bankrupt it would be "30c short of a quarter." The Financial Control Board gave a timid order to Mayor-for-life Marion "Snort, Snort" Barry to cut 6,000 city employees.
Washington is so obscenely overstaffed that the number of people that should be cut from its payroll is more like 60,000! This isn't cutting the payroll, this is giving it a manicure! People are practically calling this near-nothing cutback a "meat axe" approach!
All the while the city goes deeper into red ink. I'm thinking, when the city does go more...

A yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at ten o?clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn?t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled,? What the hell took you so long? You?re more than two hours late.?? Hey, give me a break!? whined the yuppie.? I?m a 27 handicap.?

Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers!

Having gone to his secretary's apartment, Mr. Biggs was astonished to wake up and find that it was three in the morning. "Oh, NO!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!"

Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife. "Honey!" he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

A Yuppie received a ransom note stating that if he ever hoped to see his wife alive again, he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 the next morning.
The next day, he didn't arrive until almost 12:30. Jumping out from behind some bushes, a masked man yelled at him, "What took you so long? You're over two hours late."
"Give me a break, would you!" whined the Yuppie. "I do have a 27 handicap!"