Rejected Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant." "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant. "We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager. "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired. "Simple," said the Department manager..."Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

The Top 17 Rejected Band Names

17> Motley J. Crew

16> Pearl Bailey Jam

15> Derek from Dominos Here's Your Pizza

14> Marilyn Hanson

13> WHAM! Bam! Thank You, Hand

12> Strongly Worded Letter-Writing Campaign Against the Machine

11> Kenneth Starrship

10> Goyz II Mensch

9> Yo' Mamas and Yo' Papas

8> 38DD Special

7> Porno For Pedos

6> Nuns' N' Rosaries

5> MiniVan Halen

4> Nine Inch Males

3> Wait-D.M.V

2> Puff, The Magic Daddy

and the Number 1 Rejected Band Name...

1> The Yeastie Girls

A mathematician, an engineer and a physicist sat around a table discussing how to measure the volume of a cow. The mathematician suggested the use of geometry and symmetry relationships of the cow, but his idea was rejected on the grounds of being too time consuming. The engineer suggested placing the cow in a pool of water and measuring the change in the height of the water, but his idea was rejected on the grounds of im practicality. "It's easy," said the physicist. " We'll make an asumption that the cow is a small sphere, calculate the volume and then blow it up to the actual size."

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day.
Here's his dynamite speech:
Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon.
Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted more...

Rejected Childrens Book Titles 2.0
1.Lets Learn About Jobs:Hookers
2.Ozzy Osbournes guide to a better vocabluary
3.Hitlers Life Story in Excrusiating Detail: FOR KIDS
4.More Four Letter Words that are Fun to Say
5.Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Sadistic Murderer whos primary targets are Mystery Solving Children
6.The Time Where Cindy Was So Bad, Her Mom stopped loving her
7.A Series of Unfortunate Events #17: The One where the youngest child dies
8:Harry Pothead and the Mysterious Bong
9.There once was an old lady who swallowed a fly and then got leukemia
10.101 Monsters that live Underneath your Bed
11.Rugrats All Grown Up: The Time Chucky Found that Mysterious Plant outside

Greeting card ideas rejected by Hallmark:
1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
2. My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
3. You had your bladder removed,
and you're on the mend.
Here's a bouquet of flowers,
and a box of Depends.
4. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine,
I got real snippy.
5. Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it,
She moved in with me.
6. You totaled your car,
and can't remember why.
Could it have been,
that whole case of Bud Dry?
Other rejected ideas:
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife.
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I've changed my mind.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I more...

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ''Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant. "We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager. "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired. ''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'''