Repair Jokes / Recent Jokes
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.
Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it."
Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it."
Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount."
Lucifer: "Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it."Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount."Lucifer: "Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"
One day, an repair man died. he was the kind of repair man that fixed stuff, like air conditioners. When he died, he went to heaven, and met God. God said "Hey! You're not on the list! Go to Hell!" So he walked down about 30, 967, 451 flights of stairs, and met the devil. He said, "Okay! Come on in!" While in hell, he fixed all sorts of things, like escalators, air conditioners, etc. One day, God called the devil and said, "You know that repair man? Well, he's suppose to be up here." So the devil said, "Are you crazy? I won't give you this guy!" God said, "Well if you don't, I'll sue!" So the devil said, "Sue? You can't sue me! You don't have any lawyers up there!"
HOW TO GET BETTER SERVICE ON YOUR MACHINE
Do not call for service until everyone concerned has had time to form an
opinion as to what is wrong; allow each person the chance to correct the
problem. Whenever possible, all controls and adjusting screws should be
turned.
After several days, when the machine malfunction has become a major
emergency, place an urgent call for service. Fridays are best, but anytime
after 4PM is OK.
Alert all personnel so that each can give their version of what is wrong.
Suggestions of how to fix the machine will be welcomed by the serviceman.
Hide the service history log that is found inside the machine. Make
several references to the man who was here for the same problem last week.
Have at least eight graduate engineers present to ask highly technical
questions which are in no way related to the immediate problem.
The minute the serviceman arrives, ask what caused the delay. Make it
clear that he more...
I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
What follows is a emailed message from our admin here in a Hong Kong University. I leave it to you to find how many different interpretations can be made:
Due to urinal bowl repair, the big male toilet will be suspensed from service today (19/9/01). Our contractor is undergoing repair and toilet service will be resumed as soon as practicable.
Thank you for your attention.
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer. Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it." Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount." Lucifer: "Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"