Republican Jokes / Recent Jokes

A White House insider claims that President Bush is uncomfortable around women because he loves fart jokes. This is in contrast to President Clinton, who was comfortable around women because he loved fat jokes.

In President Bush's State of the Union address he called for greater production of ethanol using America's corn. This, however, is expected to drastically raise the price of corn liquor.






Which has got some folks a might sore

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned
somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as
a group.
Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less
fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.
Democrats name their children after currently popular
sports figures, politicians, and entertainers.
Republican children are named after their parents or
grandparents, according to where the money is.
Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although
there is seldom any reason why they should.
Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to
marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a
little fun first.
Democrats make plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
Republicans sleep in twin beds-some even in separate
rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.

In a bold move to save the world, President Bush saved actress Hayden Panettiere from her trailor on the set of Heros exclaiming, "That was a close one."

The good news for Massa is that he is now qualified to run for governor of New York.

In related news, Dick Cheney said today that he is going to get his GED.

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe?

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. - W. Somerset Maugham

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled to a little fun first.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

Spinster: A bachelor’s wife.

Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one’s wife’s relatives.

Question: Ted Kennedy: “Where was George? ”
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife

The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother–I want to marry one who makes dough like her father.