Reverend Jokes / Recent Jokes
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said,
"give him more...
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?""Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts.""Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!""Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon.
Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy for directions to the post office.
After being told the way by the lad, the Reverend Graham thanked him, adding: "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven."
"I don't think I'll be there," the boy said. "You don't even know your way to the post office."
As the minister was preparing to begin his sermon he noticed a young woman in the front pew, dressed in a tight, skimpy dress with her breasts almost hanging out. Unable to concentrate on his message, he dismissed the parishioners and asked to speak to the young woman after everyone else left.
"What is the meaning of this? he said sternly. "What do you mean by coming to church dressed in such a fashion?"
"Why, Reverend," the young gal replied, "All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Well, let me check," the Reverend said, as he placed his head between her breasts.
A few minutes later, he raised his head and said, "I'm sorry, young lady, but I do not hear any angels singing!"
"Well, of course not, Reverend," she replied. "You aren't plugged in yet!"
A MAN who had lost his hat decided that the simplest way to replace it was to go to church and steal one from the cloakroom. Once inside, he heard a sermon on the Ten Commandments. Coming out, he was greeted by the minister and said to him,' I want you to know, Reverend, that you saved me from crime. I came here with sin in my heart. I was going to steal a hat, but after hearing your sermon I changed my mind.'
'Great/ exulted the minister.' Would you tell me what I said that led you to change your mind?'
'Well, Reverend, when you got to that part about "Thou shalt not commit adultery", I suddenly remembered where I had left my hat.'
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realised that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, more...
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he more...