Riddle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many ears did Davy Crockett have?

A: Three. One left ear, one right ear and one wild front ear.

Q. What does Captain Kirk and Toliet Paper have incommon?
A. They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons


Q. What is the difference between a TreKKKer and a TreKKKie?
A. A TreKKKer objects to Spock because he is part Vulcan -- A TreKKKie complains that Spock is part Human.


Q. What do you find in the toilet on the USS Enterprise?
A.The Captain's Log!

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!

What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!

Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!

Hey Babe, when was the last time you had a really good sleigh?

Care to see my twelve-inch elf?

I've got something special in the sack just for you!

Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

I know when you've been bad or good so let's skip the small talk, sister!

Some of my favorite toys run on batteries....

Interested in seeing the North Pole? (Well, that's what Mrs. Claus calls it...)

I see you when you're sleeping and you don't wear any underwear, do you?

Screw the "nice" list. I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list!

Ho-Ho-How'd you like to shake like a bowl of jelly?

I put the' scroo' in' scrooge!

I've got something you can hang a wreath on!

One hour with me honey and you'll see flyin' reindeer!

That is NO candy cane in my pocket, and I'm glad to see you.

Uh-yeah, that's right. I'm Kenny more...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: For a fowl reason

1. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?"

2. Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!"

3. I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!

4. I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.

6. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!!

7. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

8. Do you know why Santa doesn't have any children? He only comes once a year and that's down a chimney...

9. Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

10. more...

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs and a woman with no arms
and no legs on a grill?
A: Frank and Patty

Q: What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
A: Stu (Stew)

Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.

Q: Why did they stop the leper poker game?
A: Someone threw down their hand.