Rifle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Part 1
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A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for
his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to
show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to
the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all
the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the
scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the
clerk "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in
the house", the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his
house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here
are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you
take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot
the guy's dick off". The man takes another look through the
scope, and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with
one shot!"

Part 2
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Three women more...

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away. The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target. The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area..."It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out more...

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"

An old woman walks into a gun shop and says to the owner,
"I need a big gun to shoot cans." The owner replies,
"How about this small rifle?" She says,"No these are really big cans."
"Well how about this medium sized rifle?" She says,
"No this are really big cans." Finally, frustrated, the owner says,
"What type of cans are you going to shoot?"
She replies, "Oh, you know, Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Peurto Ri-cans!"

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the
second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run? ”