Rifle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Interviewer: ” So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? ”
General reinwald: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. ”
Interviewer: “Shooting! that’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range. ”
Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see how, …. we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. ”
Interviewer: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers. ”
General more...
A man, shopping for a new scope for his rifle, entered a sporting goods store. The clerk took out a scope and said, "This is such a good scope, you can see my house all the way up that hill over there." The man took a look through the scope and began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" the clerk asked.
"I can see a naked man and a naked woman running all over the house," replied the man.
The clerk immediately grabbed the scope from him and looked at his house. Enraged, he handed the man two bullets and said, "I'll make you a deal. Here are two bullets. Shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's penis off, and I'll let you have the scope for nothing!"
The man took another look through the scope and said, "You know what? I'm sure I'll be able to do that with one shot!"
The first day of bear hunting season and the hunter is walking down the trail. He comes to a clearing and sees a very large bear in plain sight and takes a shot. When the smoke clears he looks and does'nt see the bear. Suddenly he feels something tapping him on the shoulder, It is the bear and the bear accuses him of trying to shoot him. The hunter denies this repeatedly but the bear makes the hunter pull down his pants and bend over a log where the bear has his way with the hunter. The bear finishes and goes on his way.
The next morning the hunter is ready for a little payback. He is walking down the same trail and sees the same bear. This time the hunter cleans his sight and takes better aim. When the smoke clears he looks and finds the bear gone again. He throws his rifle down and starts cursing. Then the hunter feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear again accuses the hunter of trying to shoot him. The hunter persistently denies until the bear makes him pull down his pants and more...
One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It`s leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should' av bought yoreself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.