Robe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.

She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says "I've got something special for you Santa. Can't you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable."

Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know."

Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says "Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift."

Santa more...

A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates andannounces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon readingthe entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff andto proceed into Heaven. A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watchingthese proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanningthe preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff." The preacher is astonished and replies, "ButI am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely Irate higher than a cabbie." St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "this is heaven and, up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?A: Lawrence of Poland.

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on
the group mailbox. While he is there, an attractive young lady comes out of the
apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young lady
and she strikes up a conversation with him.
As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing
on underneath. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go
in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
He goes with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans
against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she
purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and
finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"
She's more...

A man was feeling very stressed out, so he decided to take a hot bath.
Just as he got comfortable in the tub, the doorbell rang. He got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door, only to find a salesman selling brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
As soon as he settled in, the doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and the robe, and he started for the door. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the tub.
Cursing under his breath, he struggled into his street clothes, called a taxi, and headed to his doctor's office.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you're very lucky. You could have suffered a serious injury but, fortunately, nothing is broken. What you really need to do is try to relax. Why don't you go home and take a nice, long, hot bath?"

A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve.
Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks.
He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and more...

A rich man was bored one day so he decided to take a stroll in the woods behind his house. He was walking along when he stumbled apon a little cottage with very fogged up windows.

This rich man had lived his entire life alone and being the curious one, he decided to rub the windows with his hand and see what was inside. What he found was a beautiful lady that had just come out of the shower in the corner of this one room cottage.

Knock, Knock, Knock. "Who is it?" the beautiful woman asked.

"It is I. A rich man." the man answered.

Figuring that only good can come out of the presence of a rich man for her, she opened the door.

"Oh beautiful woman, I'm lonley and curious. I have never seen another woman other than my mom. For a small fee, can you amuse me?"

"Sure." she replied. She could definatly use the money.

"I will pay you 1 million bucks if you will open the top more...