Royal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Raquel Welch, Dolly Parton and Princess Di all die on the same day. Raquel gets to heaven first and St. Peter says to her, "So why should I let you in through the Pearly Gates?" She smiles, takes off her shirt and waves her boobs around and he says, "Oh. . . I see. OK, you're in."
Dolly shows up next and St. Peter asks the same question. So she takes off her shirt, waves her boobs around and he says, "Oh yes, you may go in, too."
Finally, Princess Di arrives and St. Peter asks the same question to her. Instead of taking off her shirt, though, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a douche. "Wait a minute!" St. Peter exclaims. "What are you doing? I can't let you in with that!"
"I'm sorry," Di says. "But where I come from a Royal Flush always beats two pair."

Her Majesty, the Queen, and Her Royal Highness, Princess
Diana, were out for a drive in the country. Suddenly, upon a quiet
road, they were set upon and stopped by a highwayman. He forced
them out of the car at gunpoint, and demanded their jewels.
"Give me your tiara, Ma'am," demanded the robber.
"I'm sorry," replied the Queen. "I did not wear my tiara today."
"Well then, give me your ring, your highness!" demanded the robber.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't wear my ring today," replied the Princess.
Frustrated, the robber waved them away, and drove off with the
Bentley, getting at least something for his efforts. The Queen, Princess
and their chauffeur made it back to Windsor castle, where they related
their ordeal to the Queen Mother.
After the Queen Mother received an account of the robbery
she turned to Queen Elizabeth and asked, "I thought that you wore
your tiara more...

The Immense Consequences
The death under any circumstances of a member of the Royal Family would be
a cause for sadness. Had anyone made a list of those whose death might
have been anticipated, Princess Diana's name would have been last on it,
hence the worldwide shock and outpouring of grief: disbelief, anger,
analysis, sadness and perhaps the reluctant beginnings of acceptance.
Strong emotions would have been triggered had any Royal been even slightly
injured in an accident. The sudden, total loss of Diana, Princess of
Wales in a violent car crash is one of the greatest national tragedies to
befall Britain since the Second World War.
The memory of August 31, 1997 will long remain in people's minds: first
we saw the gruesome wreckage of the Mercedes after hitting an underpass
wall at high speed following a reckless chase through Paris from the Place
Vendome to the Pont De L'Alma. By strange twists of fate, the more...