Russell Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy that Russell Crowe threw a telephone at got an out-of-court settlement for $100,000. Are you kidding? I would LOVE for Russell Crowe to throw a telephone at me! It's probably a form of foreplay for him. It would be nice though if it were a cell phone, then I could program my number into it before throwing it back to him.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Russell!
Russell who?
Russell up something to eat!

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
(Joseph Romm, Washington)
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
(Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
(Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of more...