Safari Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.
"
I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?"
the man muses to himself.
It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the
States.
He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost
like it KNOWS him. The man wonders, "
Could this be that elephant
I helped so long ago?"
He decides to get a closer look. With the elephant still giving
him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in
front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to
cross the elephant's more...

Having just returned from an African safari, Steve went to see his friend, Bill, to tell him of his adventures.
"There I was, out in the jungle," he said, "when I suddenly heard a noise in the bush behind me. I looked back and saw a huge lion, licking his chops and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit. The lion started gaining on me once more, and as he got closer, he slipped again. I happened to see a house not far away, so I ran towards it. I got close to the house with the lion almost on top of me when he slipped for a third time. With my very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion's face."
"That's quite a story, Steve," Bill said. "I would have crapped in my pants."
"Well, what do you think the lion kept slipping on?!?"

A big-game hunter took his wife and his mother-in-law on a safari. One evening, while they were deep in the jungle, his wife woke up to find her mother missing. She rushed to her husband and insisted that they both must try to find her.
He grabbed his rifle, took a swig of liquor, and began to search. In a clearing not too far from their camp they came upon a frightning sight. There was the mother-in-law, backed up against a tree, with a large male lion facing her.
"What are we going to do?" the wife cried.
"Not a thing," replied the hunter. "The lion got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it!"

Heading into the jungle on his first safari, the American visitor was confident he could handle any emergency. He sidled up to the experienced native guide and said smugly. "I know that carrying a torch will keep lions away." "True," the guide replied. "But it depends on how fast you carry the torch

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the travelers had to walk and cut vines with their machetes, and all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After setting up more...