Sails Jokes

It is not the lofty sails but the unseen wind that moves the ship.

Things are slow in Heaven one day, so Moses suggests to Jesus that they go down to Earth and play a round of golf; Jesus agrees.
On the first hole, there's a long fairway with a water hazard before the green. Standing at the championship tee, Moses points to the novice tees and says "Jesus, I think we should tee off from up there. I don't think we can make it over the water from here."
Jesus replies, "I've seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, so can I."
Jesus puts his ball down and drives it toward the green. It sails up over the fairway, out over the water, then SPLASH, it falls in the water. Moses walks out, parts the water, retrieves Jesus' ball, and brings it back.
"Jesus," Moses says, "I really think we should tee off from up there. I don't think we can make it over the water from here."
Jesus insists, "I've seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, more...

three blondes stranded on a island. they find a lamp and rub it, a genii comes out he says you can have one wish each 1st blonde says i want to be 25% smarter so she gets a log turns it into a canoe and sails to shore 2nd blonde says i want to be 50% smarter so she gets a log turns it into a ship and sails to shore 3rd blonde says i want to be 100% smarter so she turns into a man and walks over the bridge.

This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looked like a nice place and he then takes a seat at the bar next to another guy. "This is a nice place. I've never been here before," the first guy says.
"Oh really?" the other replies, "It's also a very special bar."
"Why is that?" the first guy asks.
"Well, you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."
"Gee, that's amazing!" the first guy says.
"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out, you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way, that's impossible," the first guy replies.
"Not at all, take a look," the other man replies and walks over to the window, followed more...

This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New
York. It looks like a nice place and he takes a seat at the bar next to another
guy.
"This is a nice place, I've never been here", the first guy says.
"Oh really?", the other replies, "it's also a very special bar."
"Why is that?", the first guy asks.
"Well, you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and
this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."
"Gee, that's amazing!", the first guy says.
"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well,
the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall
about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way, that's impossible", the first guy replies.
"Not at all, take a look", the other man replies and walks over to the more...