Salesmen Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb. . .
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
It takes 300, 000 of them to make one human being.
What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in more...

An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water. "What kind of salesman are you?" the boss scolded. "Get out there and sell him a boat."

Policeman: Why didn't you check your speedometer? Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage. Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident.

Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland." Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator? Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton." Salesman: Oh, that's just to keep the moths away.