Salesmen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: Im a salesman and I keep selling myself things I dont want.

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton."Salesman: Oh, thats just to keep the moths away.

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object."What is that?" Mikey asked. "Its a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked."Its a thermos," Mikey replied."What does it do?" they asked."Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""What do ya got in it?"To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

"No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "Thats fine," said the salesman, "Im selling spectacles."

Three travling salesmen needed a place to stay and found themselves at a small motel. The motel manager told them he only has one romm avalible with one bed. So all them men decide to sleep in the bed together. The next morning the man on the left side of the bed says
" Last night i had the best dream, a beatiful women was giving me a handjob."
The man on the other side os the bed says
" What a conincedence, I also had a dream that I was getting a handjob.
Then the man in the middle of the bed says
" Well I had a dream that I was skiing. "

Q. How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I'm just going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.

This blonde went to a store and said "do you have any nuts" no we dont says the salesmen, so the blonde goes to another store and asks"do you have any nuts" no we call nuts, balls says the salesmen.
Then the blonde went home and told her husband that she couldnt find any nuts for herself