Salesmen Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live.

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking arse." Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language." That's okay," the blonde replied,"If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery. He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope youll be very happy there."

A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared."I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10, 000, 000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20, 000, 000," the genie said."Ive always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?""Well," said the salesman, "Ive always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double." The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said. "I've always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?" "Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem." The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself." The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"