Salespeople Jokes / Recent Jokes

- A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
- Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
- You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
- Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
- You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
- Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
- The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
- Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
- Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
- Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
- Jaws of life needed to more...

Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?"
"That dress is $899. 95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman.
"Oy! For $99. 95 I could get the same dress at S. Klein's downtown!"
"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."
"Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the lambs do at night?" she laughed.

Three Insurance salesman were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companies service.
The first one said, "When one of our insureds died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the World Trade Center, Tower 1. One of our insured who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as passed our floor."

A man was browsing through a novelty store. There was no one else in the store, and so the clerk called him over to the counter. "You have to see what we just got in," he said, "It's the latest thing out."
With that he took out a package from under the counter and raised the lid showing the customer a strange looking object.
"What's that?" asked the customer.
"It's a mechanical twat," replied the clerk.
"What on earth is it supposed to do?" asked the customer.
The clerk unwound the electrical cord and inserted it into the floor outlet, whereupon the "thing" began to make all sorts of exotic undulating motions. The customer was fascinated.
"I have to have one of those!" he said.
"All right, sir, shall I wrap it for you?" asked the clerk.
"Oh no, that's all right," replied the customer, "I'll just eat it here."

A man saw a sign in a clothing store which said "We sell everything!" The guy walked up to the clerk and asked her for some glass pants.
The woman replied, "Sorry sir we don't sell those."
The man argued that the sign stated that the store sold everything.
The woman remarked that glass pants did not even exist.
The man went to his home, and came back to the store wearing a pair of glass pants. The man said triumphantly, "See, I told you that they existed!"
The woman said, "At first I thought you were crazy... but now I see you're nuts!"

A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train.
Along came this woman and seeing the two cute babies started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what is their names?"
The man, giving the lady an angry look, replied, "I don't know."
The lady asked, "Which is a boy and which is a girl?"
The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know."
The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"
The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company!"

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area--you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and more...