Salespeople Jokes / Recent Jokes
A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."
The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10, 000, 000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20, 000, 000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said.
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"
A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.
The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."
The Devil tells a salesman, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived."
"Well," says the salesman, "what do I have to do in return?"
The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."
"Wait a minute," the salesman says cautiously, "What's the catch?"