Sandwich Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."
"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there more...

there was two boys and they were brothers and they shared a bunkbed and the older one slepted on top and of coruse the little one sleped on the bottom. then the older boy had his girlfriend over.And then they ended up doing it. the boy was like instead of saying harder and softer say lettuce and tomato. So she was like lettuce lettuce lettuce tomato tomato toamto then the little brother ends up waking up and was like hurrie and make your sandwich your dripping mayonaise on my face.

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She more...

In 1934 a man named harry went to take a crap in a out house. Well there was a string thing about this out house it had to 2 crap holes. Well he went in and set his jacket down. About 30 minutes later harry was in the other hole with a 15ft fishin pole.johnny came by and asked what the hell are you doing he said i droped my jacket in the hole. john asked r u still gonna wear it? harry said no im tring to get the sandwich out of the side pocket!

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"

"I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"I see you're ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, more...

Three
guys work on a construction site. One is white, one
is black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch
and the white man opens his lunch bag and sighs deeply,
saying, "If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again
tomorrow I'm jumping off the building." The black
guy opens up his lunch, glares and says " If my
wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going
with you." The Polish man opens his lunch, pulls
out another ham sandwich, and says "I'm with you
guys."
The next day the lunch bell rings. The white man
opens his lunch. He says, "Turkey sandwich. I
love my wife." The black guy opens his lunch.
He says, "Chicken sandwich. I love my wife. The
Polish man opened his lunchbox, looked stricken, and
said "HAM AGAIN! See ya guys." With that,
he jumped off the building. The black guy says "
I feel sorry for him." The white man more...

Running U.S. appliances on British current. Runs squares around the competition. Rusty springs in the mousetrap. S p a c e d o u t . Sailboat fuel for brains. Sat under the ozone hole too long. Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong. Serving donuts on another planet. Settled some during shipping and handling. Seven seconds behind, and built to stay that way. Several nuts over fruitcake minimum. Several nuts short of a full pouch. Sharp, like stone in river. Swift, like tree through forest. She only packed half a sandwich. She only schedules zombie processes. She wears a pony tail to cover up the valve stem. She worries about the calories licking stamps and envelopes. She's a screensaver: Looks good, but useless. Short a few cards. Short-circuited between the earphones. Should be the poster child for family planning. Should have kept his helmet on while riding / playing. Single-sided, low density. Sitting in the right pew, but the wrong church. Skating on the wrong side of more...