Sandwich Jokes / Recent Jokes

3 men were at work and they went to have their lunchbreaks.The 1st man had chocolate spread sandwich as usual.He said "if my wife makes me the same sandwich tomorrow, i swear i will kill myself".
The 2nd man had tuna sandwich as usual he said "if i have the same sandwich tomorrow, ill kill myself too".The 3rd man had peanut butter sandwich again"he said if i have the same sandwich tomorrow ill kill myself too.
the next day they all got the same sandwich so they killed themselves.At the funeral, the 1st wife said "he should have told me he wanted a different sandwich".
the 2nd said the same.
the 3rd said"i dont know why my husband killed himself, he made his own sandwiches"

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany's leading institutes.
The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald's restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies' relative purchasing power.
The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.
A simple alternative, now that McDonald's has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.
"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany more...

HOW..."BIG"... SHOULD A MAN BE?
Don't by shy. It's an important question, and one surrounded by confusion. The average man's penis is 2 1/2 to 3 inches long. Men substantially larger than this must often undergo painful surgery to
cure their condition. In thickness, the average man is slightly larger than a ball-point pen.

HOW..."LONG"... SHOULD A MAN LAST?
Some men can prolong the sex act beyond the once-unbreakable thirty-second barrier; intercourse with an experienced man can go for up to forty-five seconds. Once in a long while, you'll find a man who can "last" as long as a minute. Whatever you do, don't let your girlfriends know you've landed one of these desirable "sixty second wonders."

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M HAVING AN ORGASM?
The female orgasm is a sensation that's very hard to put into words, but most fulfilled, experienced women agrees that it "feels like something inside of you." When more...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:---------------------------------Cheese Sandwich $ 1. 50Chicken Sandwich $ 2. 50Hand Job $10. 00---------------------------------Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill. He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men." Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was ahot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh! If I go down threeinches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches I can eat him."There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes down threeinches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him."It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh!" he thought, "If that fly goesdown three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will exposehimself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a properlunch."You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but Ican tell you there was more. A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh! If that fly goes downthree inches... and that more...

Chicken McBobbitts
Salmon McNella
Tom & Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal
Shirley McLean Burger
McMenudo
Filet o' Gefilte Fish
Way Too Damn Happy Meal
Lion King Hairball Happy Meal
Them Ain't Nuggets!
McKitty Sandwich
Boutrous Boutrous Burger
Rocky Mountain McOysters
McSpleen
The Depressed Meal
Filet O' Flesh
McShrooms
Bob Barker's Happy Pants Meal
McTonya Club Sandwich
Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal
McGristle