Santa Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.
His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can`t drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that."
"Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend advised.
They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police.
They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"
"Well," Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck`s going` on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? " Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you`ve got a *driver.* "

Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.
"I`ve come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He`s due to fly in from Canada in an hour`s time. It`s his first trip home in forty years."
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.
"I`m sure I won`t," said Santa, "after all, he`s been away for a long time."
"I wonder if he`ll recognize you?" said the Banta.
"Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven`t been away at all."

Santa`s father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.
His father said, "Read that label. That`s why!"
Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

An American tourist in Punjab walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn`t see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa Singh the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, `Madam! Swimming not allowed!`` You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!`, the American woman scolded him. Santa Singh replied, `Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!

"I`m scared," Banta said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he`d break my legs if I didn`t stop seeing his wife."
"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you`ll have to stop seeing his wife."
"Easy for you to say."
"You like her that much?" the friend asks.
"It`s not that," declared Banta. "He didn`t sign his name!"

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse`s ass, and blow the pill up there."
Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
Banta says, "The horse blew first."