Science Fiction Jokes / Recent Jokes
Clone of My Own
(To the tune of "Home on the Range")
Oh, give me a clone,
With the genes like my own,
But convert my Y to an X.
And since she's like me,
It's a sure certainty,
That she'll think of nothing but sex.
(Chorus)
Clone, clone of my own,
Who's always eager to play,
Means we'll have great fun,
And I'll only need one,
So please get her started today.
As long as you're mixing,
Some genes could use fixing,
To make her the best she can be.
Blond hair and blue eyes,
And a skinnier size,
And an IQ a bit less than me.
(chorus)
Please send me my clone,
Just as soon as she's grown,
Past the virtual age of eighteen.
I'm tired of dating,
And eagerly waiting,
To make it on the cloning scene.
(chorus)
Overused plot lines:
Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to kick the Rooskies out of the good ol' US of A.
Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to survive against gangs of bandits, mutants, cyberpunks, bikers, etc.
The rag-tag rebel army/fleet struggles valiantly to overthrow the Evil Empire.
The Good Guys travel through time to stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler.
The Bad Guy travels through time to kill the Hero in his childhood, or prevent him from ever being born.
The Chronocops travel in time to catch a Bad Guy who escaped into some other era.
Scientists work feverishly to develop a cure for the Supervirus or a weapon to stop the Invincible Bad Guys.
An alien:
Is stranded on earth;
Befriends a human child or falls in love with an earth gal;
Is pursued by shadowy malevolent Pentagon officials under the pretense of national more...
Circulating the Web when John Glen was on his shuttle mssion.
URGENT!! Please distribute this to everyone (on Earth, that is) you know.
When John Glenn returns from space, everybody dress in ape suits. We have 6 days in which to bury the Statue of Liberty up to her head.
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of them said to it,' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response.
The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently,' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The other alien shouted to his comrade' No, you mustn't anger him...!', but before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap.
When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said,' What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us! But, how did you know it was so more...
The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new
Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for
quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided
by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers
rushing to the scene...
Q. What does Captain Kirk and Toliet Paper have incommon?
A. They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons
Q. What is the difference between a TreKKKer and a TreKKKie?
A. A TreKKKer objects to Spock because he is part Vulcan -- A TreKKKie complains that Spock is part Human.
Q. What do you find in the toilet on the USS Enterprise?
A.The Captain's Log!
You Might be a Redneck Jedi if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word' chicken'.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
Your master ever said,' My finger you will pull..hmmm?'
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a more...