Screw Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford tobe screwed for?

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How many forum readers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
51. One to announce that it burned out, 10 to agree, 20 to come running in with new light bulbs and screw them in, 9 to try and screw them in without even removing the old bulb, 10 to ask for a videotape of the screwing, another one to come in a few minutes later and notice the bulb went out again and start the whole process over again.

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he says." That's cool" says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds "why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby - so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it." Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with more...

Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Lunch Bagil Lunch Kondu Pokan Pattum... But School Bagil School Kondu Pokan Pattumo???
Bus stoppinte aduthu wait cheythal BUS varum... Full stoppinte aduthu wait cheythal oru FULL varumo...???. . potte oru quarter engilum...
Auto Driver Ayal Auto Odikkan Pattum!!! But Screw Driver Ayal screw Odikkan Pattumo???
Lux Rs. 9. 50 Lyril Rs. 10. 50 Chandrika Rs. 12. 00 Jeeva Rs. 8. 00 Eethu venamenkilum vangitharam Onnu kulichal mathi!!!
Want to see the greatest tourist spot - Munnaru? 666!!!!!!! enni nokkikke moonnar illennu... ha ha!
Idly Podi Thotu Idly Kazhikkam, Ennal Mooku Podi Thotu Mooku kazhikkam pattumo??
Keralathil motham 679 puzhayum, 1234 aruviyum 2345 kulavumunde. Onnu poyi kulichu koode?
Niraparayum Nilavilakkum Thengin Thoppum oormayil Sukshikkunna Malayalikku Oru Thiruvonam Kudi. Nanma Niranja Oonashamsakal
Engineering Collegil Padichal Engineer Akam. Ennal Presidency Collegil Padichal President Akan Pattumo??
Cycilil poyal cycling more...

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have testicles.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why don't men eat more M&M's?
They're too hard to peel.
What do you call a man with an IQ of 50?
Gifted.
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.
What do men and bottles of beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!!!
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Men will screw anything!
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.
Why do more...

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.