Sentence Jokes / Recent Jokes
Four guys were going for a walk and they happened to be passing the house of Sakuntala. Sakuntala's house name was Vikum Villa. For fun one said let's make a kaviya and each one composed one sentence using the last word from the earlier sentence. So it went on like this.
First Guy:
Vikum Vilawe sitina mage Sakuntala
Second Guy:
Sakuntala Daka mage sitha Udam wela
Third Guy:
Udam Wela Sitiyath mama Nikam Bala
Fourth Guy:
Nikam Bala Sitiyath Mata Kelin Wela
While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says "I can, I can"The teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla..."Darla replies..."D-U-M-B"The teacher replies, "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?" Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very DUMB." The teacher replies, "OK, well can anyone spell the word STUPID?" Again, Darla raises her hand, and the teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla." Darla replies, "S-T-U-P-I-D"The teacher replies "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?" Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very STUPID." The teacher replies, "OK, well lets continue, can anyone spell the word DICTATE?" No one raises their hand, so the teacher asks Buckwheat if he can spellthe word DICTATE? Buckwheat replies, "Sure, D-I-C-T-A-T-E"The more...
After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for
attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the
last day to drop.
Wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.
Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student
and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a
question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can't hear
you, you'll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".
If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them
your piece of chalk, and ask, "Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr.
Smartypants?"
Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses
with a stop watch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering
"tsk, tsk".
Ask students to call you "Tinkerbell" or more...
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.8. Be more or less specific.9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.11. No sentence fragments.12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.14. One should NEVER generalize.15. Don't use no double negatives.16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.18. The passive voice is to be ignored.19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, more...
Little Leroy was starting his first day of third grade and the lesson for
that day was to form sentences using Ebonics. The teacher would give each
student a word and they would have to use it in a sentence.
"Leroy?"
"Yea Ms. Johnson"
"Your word is contagious"
"Contagious?"
"Yes Leroy."
Leroy thought long and hard, and finally a sentence came to mind. "Well?",
Miss Johnson said.
Leroy replied "Evry time my mama gets olda, her contagious."
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too
far" in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who
was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge
reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.