Sentence Jokes / Recent Jokes

01. I get up at 6 a. m., no matter what time it is. 02. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. 03. One woman`s hobby is another woman`s hubby. 04. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car. 05. It`s what people don`t know about each other that makes them such good friends. 06. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. 07. I`m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. 08. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 09. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. 10. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you`ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you`ll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man. 11. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore. .. 12. Marriage is not a word; more...

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".Little Johnny: I is...Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . what happens to the other penny? 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 14. Why isn't the number 11 more...

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make more...

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing theletter "R," and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gavehim a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richarda rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare."In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy torecite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of themalready laughing at him - then replied, "Bob gave Dicka poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough."

A third grade teacher asks her students to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence.
Cathy stands up and says, "Last summer I had the mumps and my mother said it was contagious."
"Very good, Cathy," the teacher says. "Does anyone else have a sentence?"
Julie, a sweet little girl in the front row, stands up and says, "My grandmother says there's a bug going around and it's contagious."
"Excellent, Julie," says the teacher, as she looks around the class and sees Little Johnny waving his hand impatiently. "Yes, Little Johnny, do you have a sentence?"
Little Johnny quickly jumps up and says, "The lady next door was painting her porch with a one inch brush and my dad said it would take the contagious."

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, youve got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, Im going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, Ill let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"