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Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked."I could eat," said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka.The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again said, "I could eat."Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Seymour noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy, and chocolates.The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Meekly, Seymour said, "Lord, I am very happy to be be in heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they eat like Kings. I just don't understand." "To be honest, Seymour," more...

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of Heaven.
"Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked.
"I could eat," said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.
While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka.
The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he was hungry, and Seymour again said, "I could eat." Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Seymour noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy and chocolates.
The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Meekly, Seymour said, "Lord, I am very happy to be in Heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is Heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they eat like Kings. I just don't understand."
"To more...

A six-year old and a sixteen-year old shared bunk beds, the younger on the bottom bunk, the older on the top. One night, the older one waited for the younger one to go to sleep so he and his girlfriend could have sex.
When the six-year old finally fell asleep, the older one and his girlfriend began. They were starting to get a little loud, so he said, "When you want it harder say lettuce, and when you want to switch positions say tomato."
So, she said, "Lettuce... Tomato... Lettuce... Tomato."
Shortly thereafter, the 6-year old woke up and said, "Would you guys stop making sandwiches up there. The mayonnaise is dripping on me!"

Stanley was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, he was greeted at the pearly gates by the Lord Himself.
"Are you hungry, Stanley," asked the Lord.
"Yes, I could eat," Stanley replied. So, the Lord opened a can of tuna and they shared it.
While eating this humble meal, Stanley happened to glance down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants there were devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka.
The following day, the Lord again asked Stanley if he was hungry and again Stanley said, "Yes, I could eat." Once more, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Stanley couldn't help but notice a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy and chocolates.
The next day, mealtime arrived and yet another can of tuna was opened. Not wanting to appear ungrateful, Stanley meekly said, "Lord, I am very happy to be in Heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is Heaven and all I get to eat is more...

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear theres a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked. "I could eat," said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again said, "I could eat." Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Seymour noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy, and chocolates. The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Meekly, Seymour said, "Lord, I am very happy to be be in heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they e at like Kings. I just don't understand." "To be honest, more...

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"