Shave Jokes / Recent Jokes
The local barber was umpiring in the village match and when one of the batsmen was apparently run out he said:' Not out.'
The batsman looked at him thankfully.' That was a close shave,' he said.
'Aye,' said the umpire,' and if you' adn't been a regular customer it would' ave been' Next gentleman please'!'
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.
"And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said,' I'll have a shave and a shoe shine.'
The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said,' Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.'
She replied,' I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.'
The cowboy said,' Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay you the difference.'
She said,' You tell him. He is the one shaving you.'
Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.
A cowboy entered a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
"Young lady," the cowboy said, "you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."
"I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that at all," she replied.
"No problem," the cowboy said, "just tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
"You tell him," she said. "He's the one shaving you."
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave
twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. And all five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9 ", it is presumed his Mother had an affair. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when: Your grandfather had a fig tree. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00. Christmas Eve. . . only fish. Your mom's meatballs are the best. You've been hit more...