Sheila Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said' A Protestant'!"

Harry and Sheila were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that Harry was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Sheila acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as Harry slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Sheila appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that Harry had disappeared under the table. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma`am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." Sheila calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no he didn`t. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door."

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila says, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila repeated.
Sister Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila says, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Sheila repeated.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and saying, "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"

Welcome to the LoveMaker! (v3. 1 Erosoft Industries, (c) 1993)
At the prompt, please enter your response.
I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program.
What is your name?
%JOHN
What a nice name, JOHN. You must be a man.
%YES
How nice for you. Who is your poem for, JOHN?
%SHEILA
How nice for SHEILA. She must be a woman?
%YES
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN. Is she?
%YES
What is the occasion, JOHN?
%VALENTINE'S DAY
SHEILA is a very lucky woman. I will need information about SHEILA
for a poem that best reflects your deep feelings for her, JOHN.
What color are her eyes?
%BLUE
Thank you, JOHN. But could you be more specific? Are they blue like
the sky after a clearing storm? Are they the icy blue of the far flung
fjords, shrouded in mist and mystery? Are they the steely blue of Walter
Gropius's later Bauhaus sketchbooks? Are they a cornflower more...

Maori falla "Hey cuz how come you sheila's like those pommy falla's more than us falla's?'
Maori sheila " Coz cuz they better roots than you falla's?"
Maori falla "Eh! how come! how come they better rooters than us falla's then eh!"?"
Maori sheila " Simple cuz, when you falla"s wanna root, you walk up to us sheila's and put it in!"
Maori falla "Yea! so, thats what you do when you gonna have a root with a sheila isnt that right eh cuz?"
Maori sheila "Yea thats right cuz, you falla"s walk up to us sheilas and put it in!... But those pommy fallas!!..man when they wanna root they put it in first!.... THEN walk up to you?"