Sick Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do you make a Horse Drink?
Take a horse and put it in the Liquidiser.
There was a little boy and a little girl that would go every day behind
a bush after school, strip thier clothes and debate which one was better.
One day the little girl went home and asked her mom what the difference
between a boy and a girl was. The mother having a very sick mind
told her daughter that she had a garage and boy's have a fire truck.
she then said that you don't want boy's to put their fire truck
into your garage.
Well that very same day the boy aked his father
the same question. The father having a sick mind told his son that
he had a fire truck and girls have a garage. he told his son that
he should try to put his fire truck into thier garage as many times
as he could.
The next day after school they debated again. The girl went home and she went
inside. When her maother saw her she had blood all over her hands. Her mother
screamed and asked her what had happened and the little girl said that the more...
As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn, etc. The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified "No dogs." Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever).All went well for months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area. One day, the father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit. He immediately went to the landlord and complained. The landlord threatened to kick Chuck out. But Chuck, being quite persuasive- and punctual with rent checks- convinced the landlord to keep him and his dog. On the condition that that Chuck keep his dog out of the garden area. Months went by with no incidence. However, his girlfriend more...
Five days before Christmas, Santa was having a horrible day. And by horrible, I mean his wife was sick with the flu, 23 elfs called in sick, and nothing was getting done, so they were really behind schedule.
*Knock-Knock,* Santa heard, so he went to go open the door. There was an Angel carrying a christmas tree. "Where would you like me to put this?" asked the angel.
And that is why the Angel is put on top of the Christmas tree.
Sick of his wife's frigidity, the husband bought a big tube of K-Y Jelly and told his wife that it would make her a happy woman. So it did. When he was out, she put it on the bedroom doorknob.
The Sick Blonde
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"
"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."
"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"
"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."