Sid Jokes

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid says to Barney, "Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game.

After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball; you look over there," he says to Sid. After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly.

Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?"

"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"

"And a liar, too!" Sid says with amazement. "I'll more...

A Class Professor Was Giving A Lecture On Company Slogans And Was Asking His Students If They Were Familiar With Them. "Joe," He Asked, "Which Company Has The Slogan,' Come Fly The Friendly Skies'?" Joe Answered The Correct Airline. "Sid, Can You Tell Me Which Company Has The Slogan, "Don't Leave Home Without It?" Sid Answered The Correct Credit Card Company With No Difficulty. "Now Adi, Tell Me Which Company Bears The Slogan,' Just Do It'?" And Adi Answered, "Mom."

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?""I dont know," Sid replied. "Why dont we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?""I dont know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews.""Are you sure?" Al asked."I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews.""Are you really sure?" Al asked again."I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.""Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we more...

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid says to Barney,' 'Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.'' Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game.

After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.' 'Help me find my ball; you look over there,'' he says to Sid. After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.' 'I've found my ball!'' he announces triumphantly.

Sid looks at him forlornly,' 'After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?''' 'What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!''

''And a liar, too!'' Sid says with amazement.' 'I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five more...

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid offers Barney, "let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th." Help me find my ball, you look over there," he says to Sid. After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly. Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?!?" "What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!""And a liar, too!!!" Sid says with amazement. "I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball more...