Silicon Jokes

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she talks about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" Little Steve raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because it is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nod and called on Jane. Little Jane said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher smiled and then called on little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?" He responded by saying, "Because my mom had two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

What do you call the space between Pamela Andersons breasts?
Silicon valley

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Silicon Valley Mottos:
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W I N N E R
Where quality is Job One-Point-One
Maurice Herlihy

H O N O R A B L E __M E N T I O N S

''It Compiles. Ship It''
Doug Sheppard

Artificial intelligence-when you just can't get the real thing
Nancy Ott

Sleep is for the weak
Robert Zazueta

I came, I saw, IPO
Andy Halushka

Go Public or Perish
John R. Wodziak

If at first you don't succeed, go for a second round
Rex Hill

Where the world comes to pay more for housing
Dana Spradley

Give me your contract-hired, your poor-before, your not-so-subtle badasses
Kimberly Green

Spinning sand into gold
Sue Clark

Lies, damned lies, and market caps
Alex Strasheim

Silicon Valley: commute, compute, commute
David Kenney

Come for the overtaxing work environment, stay for the more...

"Who Wants to Marry a Software Engineer?" is Silicon Valley's newest game show.
What quality do you value most in your partner?
A sense of humor
Emotional maturity.
High bandwidth.
When you get home at the end of the day, you like to:
Turn on the Silicon Valley Business report, and eat dinner.
Hook up to your ISP, and check out the hit count on your web page.
Recharge your cell phone, laptop, and wireless modem, change batteries on your pager, and resynchronize your Palm Pilot and home computer.
Your ideal partner is:
Interesting and attractive.
Emotionally mature and understanding.
Extensible and polymorphic.
In spiritually difficult times, you often turn to:
Dilbert
Kernighan and Ritchie
comp.lang.c++
If go over to your partner's place and think its a mess, you would:
Complain to him/her, and tell them to tidy up.
Call a maid service.
Make clean
What kind of car would more...

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."

The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"

He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"