Skinny Jokes / Recent Jokes
- Ya mums so fat she went on the scale & it said'one person at a time please.'
- Ya mums so fat when she tried to dial 999 the slim fast brigade came running.
- Ya mums so small when she jumped off the toilet seat she sprained her ankle.
- Ya mums so small she needed a 5 ft ladder & a pair of 6 inch shoes to kiss her son.
- Ya mums so skinny she can hula hoop with a cheerio.
- Ya mums so skinny she ate a meatball & thought she was pregnant.
- Ya mums so fat she got stuck in the grand canyon.
- Ya mums nose is so ugly it makes Micheal Jackson look good.
- Ya mums so fat she ate a chocolate sunday & left out the cherry to lose weight.
By Saj Madiar
It was a hot day and a Hollywood star told a visiting Asian actor he knew of a secluded place where they can go skinny dipping.While they were enjoying the cool water, a busload of women suddenly appeared. Both men made a beeline for their towels. The Hollywood star wrapped his towel around his waist, while the Asian actor wrapped his towel around his head. There was a great deal of laughter coming from the women. They were hysterical.Afterwards, when there was only the two of them, the Hollywood star asked his guest why he wrap his towel around his head, instead of around his waist and he replied, "Where I come from we identify with our faces".
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram."Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man."Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack."Take your axe and go cut it down!"The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?""In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man."You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.The little man laughed and answered back..."Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
There were these 400 pound brothers. One of them lost a lot of weight. The other one asked How did you lose all that weight? The skinny brother said I went to a weight loss clinic. The fat brother asked what weight clinic he went to. The skinny brother told him and said Dont do 100 pounds.
The next day the fat brother went to the weight loss clinic. The man asked him how much weight he wanted to lose. The brother said 50 pounds. He was put in a room with a beautiful woman. She said if you catch me you can have sex with me. They ran around and he eventually caught her and had sex with her. He went home and weighed himself. It worked and he wanted to go back.
He went back and did 95 pounds. He was put in a room with the hottest woman he has ever seen. She says if you catch me you can have sex with me. They run around and he eventually catches her. Once again he loses the weight.
The next day he goes back and decides to do 100 pounds. Are you sure? asked the clerk. The man more...