Slice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room more...

Martha Stewart vs Me...Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and more...

Johns Pizza & Heros on Westchester Avenue in the Bronx was busted for being a major drug distribution center where coke went out in pizza boxes. DEA agent John P. Gilbride said jokingly, "This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Coke and a Slice." Good point, although it doesn't really give a whole new meaning to the phrase "The Bronx."

A slice of bread will always land peanut-butter side down. If, by chance, you put peanut-butter on both sides of the slice, it will float forever.