Snail Jokes / Recent Jokes

What does the snail say when he gets on the turtle?"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car. So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it be possible to have the "Z" replaced with an "S"?" The dealer said yes, and it was done. And, as the snail raced around the city in his brand new car, everyone would see, "Wow, look at that S-car-go."

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says Sorry we dont serve snails and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... What did you do that for!

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn’t see anyone.
He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road, into a field, away from his property.
Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn’t find anyone there when he answers.
He looks down, sees a snail there.
The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands, -
“WHAT WAS THAT FOR? ”

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone. He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road, into a field, away from his property. Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn't find anyone there when he answers. He looks down, sees a snail there. The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands, - "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

A man is sitting down to read the paper when he hears a knock on his door. Upon opening the door the man is confronted by a snail on his doorstep. "Good evening," says the snail, "I'm collecting for the snail benevolent fund. Would you care to make a donation?". The snail gets his reply as the man kicks him into the bushes. Ten years later there's another knock at the door. Again, the man finds a snail on his doorstep. "That wasn't very nice!" exclaims the snail.

Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!