Snail Jokes / Recent Jokes

what did the snail say when he rode the turtle
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Q. What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back?
A. WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail? A snail, because it carries its house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

three men were walking in the woods and they came across a rock, and under the rock was a snail. the snail saw the men and told them that if they help him out of the rock then he would grant them one wish each. so they got the snail out and he asked for their wishes. the white man asked for a dick made of steel, the chinese man asked for a dick made of wood, and the black man asked for a three mile long dick. the snail granted their wish and told them to come back the next day if they wanted to change. the next day the first 2 men came back and wanted their wishes changed because their dicks were hurting their girl friends. so the snail turned them back to normal and they left. the snail wondered about the black man so he went and found him and asked him if he liked his wish. the man said "i love it, watch this. you see black that girl way down there, waaaay down there, waaaaaaay down there?" the snail said yes. the black man said " ungh i got her"

What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem.

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun? Sir! What can an elephant with a machine gun call you? Anything he likes! What do you call an elephant that's small and pink? A failure! What is stronger an elephant or a snail? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk! What do you give an elephant with big feet? Plenty of room! Tarzan was tired when he came home."What have you been doing", asked Jane."Chasing a herd of elephants on vines""Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies? You would miss most of the film! What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant? Big ones! What do you find in an elephants graveyard? Elephantoms! Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes? Because their shoes are too tight!

A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door.
He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper.
There was another knock, so he opened the door again.
This time, he looked down and saw a small snail.
“Mister, could you spare some change? ” the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading.
A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail.
“What’d you do that for? ”