Sniff Jokes / Recent Jokes

One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying." Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo." "Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him. So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant. The witch more...

Do Or Say If You Wake Up To Your Roommate Having Sex50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo"49. "That would work better the other way around.. " 48. Sniff. Sniff. "Is something burning?" 47. "Damn, that's complicated." 46. "Wait, wait, use my pillow." 45. "Alright already, _I_came." 44. "You guys need a value pak." 43. Smoke a pipe. Every once in a while wave it around and say "Good show, old bean." 42. "Is that sperm or a mudpack?" 41. "You've got something stuck in your teeth." 40. "4 out of 5 dentists say that's bad for your enamel." 39. Go to the fridge, break open a cold one and pick up the remote. Point and click. Complain when they don't change positions. 38. "You know, they say that three's a charm." 37. Suggest your favorite position. 36. Shine a flashlight on them and say, "This is a citizen's arrest, assume the position." 35. "Bring in the Gimp." more...

Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back... (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “What’s the matter? ”
The fellow replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods. ”
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something he can do. “Why don’t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses? ”
The man stops crying and says, “that sounds like a good idea, I think I’ll try it?
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. “What’s the matter now? ” the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, “I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can’t tell them apart again! ”
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, “Why don’t you try shaving the mane, maybe more...

Fission shmission, relax, I'll increase the water level after my coffee break.
Was that "Open valve A and close valve B" or was it the other way round?
This whole plant will be running under Win95 tomorrow.
HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?
Who forgot to pay the water bill???
We got 12 seconds to WHAT???
Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.
A leak? Can't you fix it with duct tape or something?
Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.
It's Russian technology.
Move over Three Mile Island - here we come!!!
Sniff, sniff... you smell that?
I used to work at Chernobyl.
All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!
It's your turn to wax the core.
How come all the big shots are leaving?
Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?
Is this part really necessary?
OF COURSE I went to high school. Didn't finish it, though.
Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people more...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort! ” coming from one of his reindeer.
Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was. It happened again, only louder this time. “Snort sniff honk honk snort! ”
Dogs in the neighbourhood began to bark. “Shhh! ” Santa hissed. “Please be quiet! ”
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT! ” Lights came on all over the neighbourhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver more...

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the, "How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at thebottom of the pool!