Sonny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job.One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?""I dont know", replies the stupid cashier.The woman leaves unsatisfied.THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!""10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier.The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?""10 cents ma'am""Really?, are they fresh?""I dont know"So the woman leaves.The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?"So the cashier memorizes "Yes, very fresh"The next day, another woman comes and more...

A friend of mine told me the other day that Sonny Bono was thinking of
running for the Senate in California. If Sonny Bono becomes Senator
Bono, does that mean we have to find a different nickname for Teddy
Kennedy?

Some Politicatl Quotes as collected in "They Said That!" by Larry Engelman


Like we say in Texas, if goofy ideas ever go to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Dick Armey's head.
Clinton advisor Paul Begala, 1998

If Jerry Brown is the answer, it must be a very peculiar question.
Sen. Lloyd Bentsen, 1992

This is Jerry Brown. Thanks for calling. And please do everything you can to assist and be an active member in the insurgent campaign to take back America. To speak to a live human being, dial zero.
-- Taped message on the Jerry Brown for President office phone in Santa Monica, Calif., 1992

She's not my type, let's put it that way. She wouldn't pass the test. Yes, the Bono test.
Sonny Bono, on Hillary Clinton, 1995

This year's elections are like a horse race. They end up exactly where they started. And when they're done, manure is everywhere.
Jay Leno, 1994

Many Americans more...

After big tragedies the net often swims with humor about the people and event involved. Some people think this is a healing process, others find it in bad taste.

WARNING: DO NOT READ If think you might be offended by Sonny Bono death jokes.

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What do Cher and a 50 year old Redwood have in common?
They both got nailed by Sonny Bono. .

What's the difference between Al Gore and Sonny Bono?
One's a tree-hugging stiff...
and the other's a tree-hugging stiff.

That makes it...
TREES. ........ 2
Celebrites. ... 0

Death by snow:
Michael Kennedy,
Sonny Bono,
Chris Farley

What was the most surprising thing about the discovery of Sonny's body?
That he was recognized.

Why did Sonny die in a ski accident?
After being a mayor and a congressman, he wanted to be a Kennedy.

Police reported it was a quick more...

Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job. One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?" "I dont know", replies the stupid cashier. The woman leaves unsatisfied. THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!!!!""10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier. The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?" "10 cents ma'am""Really?, are they fresh?" "I dont know"So the woman leaves. The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?" So the cashier memorizes "Yes, very fresh"The next day, another woman more...

Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, greeted her 11-year old grandson at the door when he came home from school.
"Well, sonny, what did you learn today?" Grandma asked.
"Sex education," he replied. "All about sex organs, intercourse and stuff."
The old woman was so shocked, she immediately reported the conversation to her daughter.
"Calm down, Mom," her daughter replied. "These days it's all part of the cirriculum."
A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter called out that dinner was ready. Grandma walked past her grandson's room and noticed that he was vigorously masterbating.
"Sonny," Grandma said, "when you're finished with your homework, come downstairs to dinner."

Sonny: I cant sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way youll be sure to drop off!