Spaghetti Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them! Sent by Sonia
Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle.
They bought five tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
Tom won the first prize - a whole year's supply of Gourmet Spaghetti sauce.
Dick was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long Gourmet Spaghetti.
And Harry won the sixth prize - a Toilet Brush.
When they met in the pub a week later, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."
"So do I," said Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"
"Not so good," Harry said, "I reckon I'll go back to paper..."
A wealthy American man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during a rendezvous, she confided to him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he told her he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed there, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby is born. To keep it discreet, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about nine months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I`ll explain it later," he said. The wife did as she was asked, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Two with more...
What type of Asian are you?
Girls, take this test to find out
Guys, or scroll down. GIRLS 1. On a typical Friday night, you're most likely to be seen at: A) pool hall
B) the mall
C) at home, getting an early start on homework
D) cafe shop
E) your friend's house, having a sleepover 2. Your normal everyday wear is: A) tight shirts, spaghetti straps, baggy jeans, and extra dark lipstick
B) lots and lots of makeup - to impress the guys of course
C) thick glasses, long sun dresses, penny loafers, or sandals
D) high pumps, expensive designer clothes and tons of jewelry
E) college or Mickey Mouse sweatshirts with blue jeans 3. You usually give out your number when: A) almost never, guys get scared off by your mean looks
B) any foine guy happens to ask for it
C) never - you're not supposed to talk to guys
D) there's money floating around him
E) any white guy asks for it 4. When you go to the mall, you: A) give menacing more...
How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)
A kid goes to school and says to his teacher, "I just learned this new word called 'Purple spaghetti'." The teacher sends him to the principal and tells him the same thing so he sends him home!
When he gets home his mom asks him, "Why are you home so early?" So he tells her about what happened and his new word. Then his mom sends him to his room and tells him to wait until his father gets home. When his father gets home he sits down with the boy and the boy tells him about what happened, and about his new word. the father tells him to go the streets. So now the boy is living on the streets and he comes across a homeless person and tells him his story and when the boy says 'Purple spaghetti' the homeless person screams and runs across the steet and gets hit by a car.
Q: Whats the moral to the story?
A: Look both ways before crossing the street.
Last Lunch Three steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building. The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself." The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, " Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself." The third worker is polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, "Oh, no, if I have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself." The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Then the Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death. Finally the polish worker looks in his lunch box, sees a polish sausage more...