Spelling Jokes / Recent Jokes

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the'k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal more...

A kindergartener was practicing her spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: dog, cat, mom, and dad were proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning, while getting ready for school, she ran into the kitchen with her arms outstretched. In her hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Mommy, look what I spelled," she exclaimed proudly.
"That's wonderful!" her mother praised her. "Go and put them on the fridge so Daddy can see them tonight when he gets home from work." The mother happily thought that the Catholic education was certainly having an impact.
Just then, a little voice called out... "Mommy, how do you spell 'zilla'?"

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" with a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" his mom praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." The mom happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla'?"

Euro-English The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments more...

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong.
I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach more...

My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see.One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face."That's wonderful!" I said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily.Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen."Mom? How do you spell' zilla?'"