Sri Jokes / Recent Jokes

Their was a Sri Lankan Association formed in a foreign country. Many people tried to become the President but one succeeded not because of his qualifications, his street smartness. to get things moving and raise some funds for the association the president purposed a dinner dance to be organizes. so the committee proposed with a music group from Sri Lanka in a five star hotel with Rafael draws and printing souvenir etc.
so the committee got to work and asked the president to arrange a letter for the dummy (to collect advertisement to print a souvenir for the fund raising) not knowing what a dummy was and not willing to show to the committee that the president of the association lacks the knowledge he asked

where are we going to keep the dummy in the music hall?

A SRI LANKAN MOTHER comes to visit her son Sunil who lives
with a female roommate naming Sunita, for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother could not help but notice how pretty Sunil's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Sunil and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Sunil volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Sunil saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he
sat down and wrote:
Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you' did' take the more...

Once James Bond and a Sri Lankan cricketer guy were flying together, seated next to each other.

Sri Lankan cricketer: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "I am Bond. James Bond."
James Bond: "And you?"

Sri Lankan cricketer: "I am Vaas..... Chaminda Vaas..... Joseph Chaminda Vaas..... Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas "

James Bond collapses.

It was 3. 30 pm on the very last day of the ongoing test
match when there was an urgent call for INFOSYS and it was from no
other than the SRI LANKA CRICKET BOARD.
I picked up the receiver: "Hello? This is INFOSYS ".
Frantically came a voice "This is the Secretary of Board of Cricket
Control of Sri Lanka. We have got a serious problem."
" What's it? " asked I. There came the reply:
" Our scoreboard, though electronic, is a bit old one. It can show
only three digits. And the pace with which
De Silva is scoring runs, 1000 will be scored any time.
After that, Lanka will be scoring from zero again, as it will look!!"
I immediately met my bosses and an urgent meetting was
called. After it was over, it was clear that INFOSYS cannot give the
solution within one hour as per their request.
"So", I told him, " Please tell De Silva to get out and Lanka to
finish their more...

Had they spoken Computer lingo, this would be what the Sri Lankan political leaders might be saying:
Chandrika Kumaratunge: Why should I be the one who gets all the blaming whenever the computer goes down? UNP had misused it for 17 years and when given to me, it was in a real bad shape. See what I have done to improve its performance within just four years. Haven't I fixed a brand new screen filter? Haven't I given it a brand new mouse pad?
Ranil Wickremasinghe: She promised a Pentium and gave you a damn 286; She promised a 56k modem and gave only an outdated 14. 4k one; She promised 64MB RAM and now tells you to be satisfied with 8MB. So why don't you vote for me? I'll give everyone of you a brand new Pentium III with grand multimedia kits.
Anura Bandaranaike: That blue computer sucks. It has no processing power at all. The only working part it has is its' MOTHER BOARD'.
Wimal Weerawansa(JVP): As a party, JVP vehemently opposes violence. We do not even allow our more...

One day there guys (An American, A Russian and a
Sri Lankan) were travelling around the world.
The American said "we are now flying over New York".
The other two asked "why?", The American replied "we
can see the Sky High buildins".
A few hours later the Russian said "We are now flying
over Russia". The other two said "Why?". The russian
replied "you can see our sky labs".
Finally, the Sri Lankan said "we are now flying over
Slave Island - Sri Lanka". As before the other two said
"Why?". The Sri Lankan replied "I kept my hands out
and my wedding ring is now missing"

Once Mahinda Rajapakse, Ranil Wikramasinghe & Mervin Silva were
travelling in a Taxi. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks Mahinda and Ranil to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Mervin, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Mervin is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. Mahinda is asked to spell' SRI LANKA' and he does it correctly. Ranil is asked to spell' INDIA' and he too passes. It is Mervin's turn and he is asked to spell' more...