Staring Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man on a bus spends much of the journey staring at the guy sitting opposite. Before long the other guy starts staring back and demands to know why he is the focus of so much attention.

“I’m very sorry,” begins the first man, “but if it weren’t for the moustache you’d look just like my wife!”

“But I don’t have a moustache!” protests the other.

“See what I mean?” he replies.

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring He replies:
"I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.
Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfils the cab
driver's fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts more...

A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house.
While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, 'Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?'
The kid says, 'Daddy told me you were a self-made man.'
'I am.'
'Well, why did you make yourself like that?'

On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses aninflatable sex doll? Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.

Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of thedivorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said:"Im going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month." To which the womans about-to-be ex replied: "Thats mightykind of you, judge. Ill try to help her all I can, too."