Steak Jokes / Recent Jokes

The barman charges him 10 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.
After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 25 cents, 10 for the beer and 15 for the food. After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him." "No problem," says the barman. "He's upstairs with my wife." "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man. "Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease, says the waiter. The Texan says, Whats a shortage? The Russian says, Whats a steak? The New Yorker says, Whats excuse me?

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat." Are you crazy" yelled the customer, "sticking your thumb in my steak?!""What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.
The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic steaks.
To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen.
"Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?"
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."

Kid: Mom, can i get the hot lunch tomorrow?
Mom: What are they serving?
Kid: Swiss steak. Pleeeeeease?
Mom: Okay! Okay! I didn't know you liked Swiss steak so much.
Kid: Oh, yeah! It sticks to the ceiling WAY better than the lasagna.

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large
Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was
outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his
neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each
Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got
together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was
tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and, they couldn't take
it anymore. They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic.
They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to
join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to
Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "
You
were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a
Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten
temptation was resolved. The next year's Lenten season rolled more...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 10 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.
After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 25 cents, 10 for the beer and 15 for the food.
After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him."
"No problem," says the barman. "He's upstairs with my wife." "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man.
"Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"