Steak Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.
The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic steaks.
To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen.
"Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?"
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."
Elsie Egan, a Florida woman, 53, is facing a felony domestic abuse charge for allegedly striking her boyfriend several times in the head with a raw steak, according to police.
She just wanted to help soothe the black eye she was giving to him.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a cow with a porcupine?
A: A steak with a built in toothpick.
From a recent newspaper article:
Cuba has severe shortages of almost every consumer commodity, including
food. Here's a current joke:
There was this fried egg walking down the street, minding its own
business. It hears some noise behind it, turns around, and sees a crowd
of hungry Cubans in the distance bearing down on it. It runs away as
fast as its little fried egg leggs will go, when it sees a steak.
It yells to the steak, "Run away! Run away! They'll get you too!"
but the steak just laughs and says, "They won't even recognize me."
A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.
The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious pieces of gigantic steaks.
To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen.
"Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, steak. Today, though, when I have my friends invited, you serve small miniature steaks! What is the meaning of this?"
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender charges him 15 cents. Confused but not complaining, the man pays.
After a while, he decides to have another beer and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The bartender charges him 50 cents, 15 for the beer and 35 for the food.
After finishing his food and drink, he calls the bartender over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him."
"No problem," says the bartender. "He's upstairs with my wife."
"What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man.
"Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"