Steven Wright Jokes / Recent Jokes

What`s another word for thesaurus?

I`m writing a book. I`ve got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.

I wrote a few children`s books. Not on purpose.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark and flew across the room.

I went to a general store. They wouldn`t let me buy anything specifically.

I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It`s not for sale."