Stickers Jokes / Recent Jokes

BUMPER STICKERS
I love cats. .. they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!

My kid can beat up your honor student!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in more...

Here are some "actual" bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:

HONK! If you had sex with the President
Clinton: We forgive you... Now Resign!
Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency
Adultery IS NOT a family value
Does character matter YET?
One More Whore And We Get Gore
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
Jail to the Chief
Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President
The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility
If his private life doesn't matter, let him date your daughter.
Save the President: Legalize Perjury
Two terms for Clinton: the second in jail
Clinton: Our Nation's Fondling Father

Humor: More Bumper Stickers
1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Don't Succeed... blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To more...

My karma ran over your dogma.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work.
Hey idiot, hang up! You are driving a car, not a phone booth.
Take your time, but hurry.
Speed kills, drive slow, get a Honda.
0 to 60... in 15 minutes.
If you don't like my driving, stay off the footpath.
Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?
Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.
As a matter of fact, I DO own the road.
Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!
Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your car ) - Your Fire Dept.
Caution: Driver Sleeping.
Don't Think and Drive.
Caution I swerve and hit people at random.
So many pedestrians, so little time.
Faster than a speeding ticket.
Caution: I drive like you do
The driver has no money, he's married.
Stop reading my bumper stickers and pay attention to the road! :D

I've recently seen 2 bumper stickers that I just love. They've also been known to be true!
"LIVE, FREEZE, AND DIE
New Hampshire"
(takeoff on the "Live Free or Die" motto of NH) and
"VERRRRMONT
Some Like it Cold"

Bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:
Clinton: We forgive you... Now Resign!
Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency
Adultery is not a family value
Does character matter YET?
One More Whore And We Get Gore
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
Jail to the Chief

Bumper stickers seen this weekend...
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
I have the body of a god... Buddha.
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name.
Illiterate? Write for help.
Honk if anything falls off.
He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
This isn't my idea of a good time.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
Uniquely maladjusted, but fun.
This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Oh, evolve!
Gone crazy be back shortly.
If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.