Stress Jokes / Recent Jokes

1 Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot

2 This is just a 15 minute power nap like they faved about in that time management course you sent me to

3 I was working smarter --- not harder

4 Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper

5 Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm

6 This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people

7 I was testing the keybord for droo;-resistance

8 It worked for Reagan, didn't it?

9 Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just wont wear off

10 I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learnt at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend

11 This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dremt abuot work

12 I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice more...

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you dont follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Dont burden him with chores. Dont discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said youre going to die," she replied.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,
the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe illness, combined with horrible stress. He will
surely die if you don't do the following:
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in
a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an
especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had
a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress
worse.
"And most importantly, make love to your husband several times a week and
satisfy his every whim. If you do this for the next 10 months to a year, I
think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"Well, He said you're going to die," she replied.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him
with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will
only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2
months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the
husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going more...

As part of a seminar I recently attended on stress in the workplace,
I was given a packet which included a family stress test. Our family found
that all of the questions fell into what we considered the "wuss" category,
and generated our own family stress test:
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if
it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
1. ____ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can
talk."
2. ____ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
3. ____ The cat is on Valium.
4. ____ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to
speak through clenched teeth.
5. ____ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
6. ____ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number
of people in the family.
7. ____ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
8. ____ "Family more...

As part of a seminar I recently attended on stress in the workplace, I was given a packet which included a family stress test. Our family found that all of the questions fell into what we considered the "wuss" category, and generated our own family stress test:
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
____ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
____ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
____ The cat is on Valium.
____ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
____ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
____ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
____ No one has _time_ to wait for microwave TV dinners.
____ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement more...

As part of a seminar I recently attended on stress in the workplace, I was given a packet which included a family stress test. Our family found that all of the questions fell into what we considered the "wuss" category, and generated our own family stress test:
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
The cat is on Valium.
People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
No one has _time_ to wait for microwave TV dinners.
"Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
You have to check your kid's more...