Stretch Jokes

Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100.00 bill.Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed "I can't break this! I need exact change.""Come on buddy." Jack pleaded, "Can't you give me a break, just this once?""Nope. Sorry. Exact change!" Answered the collector."While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, "Do you really like this job?""Well it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills," replied the collector. "what do you do for a living?" he asked.Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, "I'm a rectum stretcher.""A what?" asked the collector."A rectum stretcher." Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance."What does a rectum stretcher do?" The collector asked."Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums." Jack explained setting more...

Some of you may not find these at all funny but their is defintely a demographic that loves them. We decided to just collect as many as possible and throw them all onto one page. Enjoy!
Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
Yo mamma's so fat her clothes have stretch marks.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has two stomaches...one for meats and one for vegetables.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.
Yo mamma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mamma's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma's so fat, her belt size is equator.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mamma's so fat, every time she puts an apple in her mouth people try to roast her.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she turns around more...

your mmoma is so fat that you can see her stretch marks in her shadow

Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100. 00 bill.

Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed "I can't break this! I need exact change."

"Come on buddy." Jack pleaded, "Can't you give me a break, just this once?"
"Nope. Sorry. Exact change!" Answered the collector.

"While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, "Do you really like this job?"

"Well it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills," replied the collector. "what do you do for a living?" he asked.

Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

"A what?" asked the collector.
"A rectum stretcher." Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance.

"What does a rectum stretcher do?" The more...

Softball is better than baseball because the Seventh Inning Stretch means stand up and go home.